Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Limbo is my middle name


Seriously, I'm headed down to formally change my name. I spend enough time in limbo, I might as well own it. Make it a formal part of me. Claim it. Run with it.

So yes, you guessed it...in limbo once more.

E2 today was 673.

Fuck.

Not low enough to cancel according to Dr. H. who called me himself. Ya know, it's never a good thing when he calls you personally; it just seems ominous. But I suppose it has to do with the fact that he and I had a little hallway chat as I was leaving this morning. The topic? Of course...my lagging estrogen.

He is once again stumped by my body. Says that this lack of response makes little sense. I've had no suppression whatsoever (we started on a random day when my levels were at day 3) and I haven't taken anything fertility related in almost a year. He just doesn't get it.

Well sir, that makes two of us.

We talked briefly about cancellation - the pros and cons. He knows that we don't have roll-around-on-the-bed piles of money to work with, so he's wonderfully cognizant of that as we discuss going forward.

But with this jump, he now wants to take things day by day. Which again, sounds so familiar - 'cause it's exactly what happened last time.

Last cycle on day 4 my E2 was 550. So higher than the 350 I had this cycle on day 4. But my day 6 last cycle was a mere 737, which is much closer to the 673 I got today, and we still ended up with seven mature eggs from that cycle.

Now I'm going to close my eyes and hope beyond hope that tomorrow's numbers jump that bit more - and maybe, just maybe, actually go a little higher than last cycle's day 7, which was 1063.

So if you're reading this, might you do me a wee favour? Can you visualize a number higher than that for me for tomorrow? I figure the more brains we get on this, the greater the chances of success. Kinda like all that The Secret mumbo jumbo; the power of positive thinking; if you think it, it will rise. You know. That stuff.

Please, please, please, universe. Be nice to me. It would be a welcome change.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

sending you all the jumping numbers vibes that I can!

carie

Kate on July 7, 2010 at 3:24 PM said...

Sure hope there's a nice jump tomorrow. Like 1200 would be nice... Sorry for the limbo agony.

Kate on July 7, 2010 at 3:29 PM said...

And I have a pile of Gonal-F pens that are due to expire in 08-2010, that have all been very carefully stored in my fridge since my IVF last summer. I kept a thermometer in there to be sure the storage temp was appropriate. I'm sure not going to cycle by then, and don't know that Dr H would take them. I'd risk taking them from a stranger if I were doing a high-stim IUI, though would have trouble doing it for an $11000 IVF cycle. If it would help you cycle again in Aug or Sept (or save you money on the current cycle, I'd donate them to you (live in west TO). I'd use them myself if I'd gotten my postpartum AF already...

Shannon on July 8, 2010 at 6:31 AM said...

Kate - wow, that's such an amazingly generous offer! Can you email me at jshtoronto@yahoo.ca so we can chat? Thanks again!!!!

Anonymous said...

WTF? Come on estrogen!!! I'm thinking of a number....1234!!
-mimi-

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