Running out of room

My ovaries are starting to take up too much space in my body. And I have a lot of space.Again, I forgot what this phase of stims feels like. How much pressure and pain you feel. The bloating. The gas! Oh the gas. Really? Did they have to throw that in the mix?I now have 15 follicles between 1.0 and 1.8. My E2 was 2600 today - so it went up a bit, but I was prepared. I started the orgalutran yesterday and had it again...

I'll take what I can get

The seemingly never ending estrogen saga continues.Better results today - from 1389 yesterday to 2154 today. So that's a good thing. I'm holding on to that, playing the glass half full girl. Doing my best to not stress it and to just ride it out.The clinic was a zoo this morning! I set my alarm for 10 minutes later this morning than yesterday (because in my world, ten minutes most certainly does count) and managed to get there...

Whut the..

So yeah, that whole me taking cues from the clinic thing? It's still there, but harder than ever to hold on to after today.E2? 1389. Barely went up by 300 units. Whut the whut? Sigh. It was 3327 at this time last cycle. That's a huge difference.The people on the weekend (nurses, blood techs, ultrasound techs) are all different, so it's a whole new ball game. They don't know your chart, your veins, your ovaries like the...

Taking my cues from the clinic

The one thing I realized today is how much from last cycle I'd totally forgotten.Yes, it's been a year, almost to the day, since we started our last fresh cycle. And now that we're right back into the swing of things, it's all coming back to me.All the anxiety of waiting for blood work results. All the second guessing every number that's given to you. All the fear that things aren't where they 're supposed to be, that you're...

Gettin' dicey

Have I mentioned how much of a freaking anxiety roller coaster this entire process is? 'Cause ya, it really sucks. Going in every day, holding your breath while they do the ultrasound, hoping there's lots to measure, then waiting, waiting, waiting to get that phone call with the blood work results.Well, I just got today's call, and I'm not happy.My E2 today is 737. In my last cycle on day 6, it was 1236. That's a pretty significant...

The first stim check in

It's amazing how much you can forget in a year. Truly.I couldn't remember for the life of me what to expect this morning. Thank goodness I kept a spreadsheet for each IVF to track progress and see what's what! So blindly in to the clinic I trundled this morning for my day 4 check up. Blood work, ultrasound, chat with the nurse. Rinse, lather, and repeat on days 6, 8 and so on.Blood work? Check. Too bad I have a massive bruise...

Needle days one through three

So yes, I started stabbing myself Saturday night. Apologies for the absence, but it's been a busy few days. The weekend saw me celebrating my 36th birthday (yes, pretty much all weekend long - I'm spoiled like that) then yesterday I had the most debilitating headache all day I could barely put a sentence together.Coming off caffeine sucks. Especially when you can't take Advil. Boo. All in all, the shots are going well. Gonal...

And it was good

Quick post today, but wanted to give the important update.All is well! Better antral follicle count this time - 12 on the right, 15 on the left. Estrogen 259, LH 2 and progesterone 3.4. Estrogen's a bit over what it should be but I always 'ride high' after coming off birth control, so no one was too worried.Came home early from work today to go to the doctor - I have an ear infection. Awesome. Why not add antibiotics to...

Tomorrow is B Day...dun dun duuuuuuunnn

Yep, B Day. That's not short for birthday - nope, that's Sunday, not tomorrow. No, B Day is baseline day. The make or break day for all fresh IVF cycles. That oh so important ultrasound and blood work that tells all. Says yay or nay to next steps.I have PCOS so I have lots and lots of follicles. I'm hoping that they don't number more than 40 for my antral follicle count, 'cause then they might be a bit reticent to start. ...

Will that be debit or credit?

Paid our cycle fees today. Yep, that's good fun. Here, take this chunk of plastic and just charge it. Watch that debt load increase instead of decrease.Sigh.One of the things that really burns my cookies about infertility is the cost. And I'm not talking about physical, emotional, mental or other costs. While they do certainly exist, they're bills that are much much easier to pay than the financial one we're saddled with.My...

It is finished!

Waahoooo!Ding dong, the Marvelon is done! I couldn't be more excited. Truly. Tonight at bedtime (which is coming soon, thankfully) will be the first time in a very long, overdue time that I haven't had to pop that little white pill into my quite unwilling mouth. It is good. It is very, very good.I'm looking forward to getting back to feeling like me. To not sweating like a mofo at night. To having a better night's sleep. Then...

Scratching the surface

Yep, that's what this morning was all about. Roughing up the surface of my uterus. Nothing says 'yay, it's Friday morning!' like a speculum and a wire brush.This was my third endometrial biopsy, and, fortunately, the best of the bunch.The first was eons ago to check the quality of my lining. My doctor had to go back in twice and pinch out a section of the lining to send it for pathology. Twice. With pinchers. It hurt like...

Sooooo tired!

Yep, I'm going to complain again for a bit. Blame the Marvelon...I know I do. Stupid stuff.Alas...I've been knocked off my feet by this silly drug. I know I've already railed about all the ways it has affected me, but man, I think I forgot fatigue!I just can't seem to get enough sleep. I fall asleep fast, I stay asleep, but I wake up in the morning just exhausted and drag my carcass through the day, ready to pass out at any...

Marvelon, how I hate thee.

Let me count the ways.I am so sick and tired of being on this stupid birth control pill. I hate it - and it hates me.Big time.It hates me by flooding the skin on my face and decolletage with nice bright red acne. It hates me by making me a raving lunatic with snapping jaws and crustiness galore. It hates me by flipping my stomach and making me want to puke through most of the work day.It hates me by messing with my sense of balance...

Ah, a day at the spaaahhhhh

What a great day today will be. First, slept in nice and late which to me, is really what Sundays are for. Just hanging around now listening to the soothing strains of the background music of The Weather Network (don't ask - Hubs likes his Weather Network) and deciding what I want for breakfast.Then in a few hours, my sister in law and I will pack our bags, hop in the car, and head downtown to Elmwood. Forget Disney - Elmwood...

A comment about comments

Eeps! Trouble in comment land. Apparently the blog template was cutting off those silly words that you have to add in to authenticate your comments, so people weren't able to leave any. Bummer!I've since fixed the problem by removing that step, so hopefully there will be no further issues.Thanks to my fellow blogger for pointing it out!We now return to our daily scheduled programming....

A post about nothing

Today's post, a la Seinfeld, is really about nothing. It was a day, and now it is over. I did get to see my friend's new baby and she's adorable - all pink and cute and sweet - so that was lovely. But the rest of the day was true full moon fashion - crazy people, screaming and crying fits, you name it. And no, neither Hubs nor I were involved in the crying. I might have done a wee bit of the screaming - but at least it wasn't...

Ever notice...

...just how many visibly pregnant women there are out there?Sheesh! Don't know if today was just an abnormality or what, but boy oh boy, I'm surrounded! Doesn't help that I work in a building with a massive OB/GYN practice. Bellies everywhere. Strollers on the elevator every second trip. In some ways it's helped de-sensitize me to the entire thing. But on bad days, it's like the universe is hauling off to give me a good swift...

A quickie

Forgot to mention this in other posts.I'd love to link to other blogs but always hesitate to just do so out of the blue without permission due to the subject matter. If you'd like to be on my blog list I'd love to have you - feel free to email me (jshtoronto@yahoo.ca) or leave a comment with your addy. :)And while we're on the topic, comments in general are always welco...

I allowed myself to wonder...

Hubs and I both had today off for the Civic holiday weekend and since it was nice and we had no plans, we decided to take some time for ourselves, find a beach somewhere, and try to suck all the summer out of the weekend that we could.A little googling later and we were off to Musselman's Lake, just north of Stouffville. We found a resort type place that had a beach you could buy day passes for, so off we trundled.Seeing as we...

If only I didn't feel the need...

I've always known that I wanted to have children. It was never a question for me, just something I knew I wanted, viscerally, with every fibre of my being.I find that every once in a while along this infertility journey, I envision my life going forward as permanently child free and I think, all things considered, it ain't all bad. We can sleep in when we want to, childcare is generally moot to us (with the exception of Hubs'...

Turing over the soil - an introduction

It's almost ironic that I've chosen a gardening theme for this, my IVF blog. I love flowers, but I hate the act of gardening. Just doesn't do it for me. Guess my uterus happens to feel the same way.Since this is my first post for this blog, I thought it might be a good idea to give a little bit of background on who I am, what we're dealing with, and what we've already been through to get to this point. I've you're a reader...